Speaking of women and Carthage North Carolina

Ladies, what is up?

Residing here in Carthage, was for me, initially, a jolt to my sensibilities. Coming from Washington DC with some crossover to Santa Barbara, San Diego, Orlando and even New York City, Boston, etc. my  inner child is used to city walks, cafes, large museums, subways, and population. Running the freeway is like an Indy 500 and an Army obstacle course simultaneously. And, yes, we do have the Chesapeake Bay, lakes, camping areas, etc. with Front Royal West Virginia only a hop, skip and a jump away . . . but it is a far cry from the serenity that is Carthage.

When I first relocated to Carthage, my brother asked me:

Just how small a town is it that you live in Donna?

My response:

If I buy seeds at one end of town, when I’m shopping in the other end they ask me when I’m planting my garden.

And, that’s not a stretch of the imagination for a local – you know what I mean. However, over time, believe it or not, Carthage has grown on me. I’ve come to love it here. I bought a historic home. Have a nice view from my kitchen window that I need a step stool to see out. I have a business I can walk or bicycle to (plan to this summer). It is just wonderful. I’ve gotten to know a lot of really cool artisans, authors, entertainers and folks here. And, I’ve even adjusted to the decreased populace – now when I go to DC I am anxious to return to Carthage for peace and quiet. Go figure.

But ladies – I have some questions / thoughts regarding our sensibilities here

In participating in varied guises such as court, business, relationships and politics I see a very strong double-standard that women ourselves seem to embrace here. I’m curious as to “why?”

For instance, I recently dated someone younger than me. Now this was unusual for me, due to the age difference, but in comparing my situation to many men I’ve known locally – it is “not” uncommon for men here to date women much younger than them and much younger than my own situation and ladies – you don’t bat an eyelash over that.

Yet, the rumor mill has been spinning on speed dial regarding a woman doing something that traditionally, here in the South, men have done for decades without issue. So, my question is, “why are we hurting one another?” Instead of saying, “Well you know Mr. Peterson (fictitious name) was dating Sally Mae (fictitious name) and she’s 35 years younger than him – if he can do it – why can’t a woman?” No one says nay a word about his dating but make uber declarative statements when it is a woman who is older. Instead of speaking to double-standards, ladies get together and rally gleeful laughter and/or conversational chiding or sport . . . at their sister’s expense.

And, that isn’t the only incident of women not defending women

I hear a lot of stories of cheating and men hustling ladies here and I am curious:

Why don’t women begin calling men out who attempt to cheat or hustle women? Why are we not sisters in womanhood first and attracted to men second? Why are we allowing bad men more leeway than we do our lady friends and neighbors?


Addressing and changing generational cultural misnomers

Ladies, we need to step our game up and begin changing generational cultural misnomers. Men shouldn’t cheat. Men shouldn’t have greater leeway and less culpability. Men shouldn’t be able to run games on women. And, if we know of men who do, are, have, might, may or could . . . we owe it to one another to air the linens and share the truth. Don’t we? Can’t we be the lights in our village?

What will be the result?

First, men will begin being more accountable.

Second, women will stop being demeaned and left holding the bag.

Third, our children will see new and improved relations and develop greater sensibilities.

Fourth, our town will be the better for it.

I’ve always said, a man couldn’t cheat if a woman wouldn’t say yes to him and vice versa, of course. If a man can date someone 35 years his junior, so can a woman. If a man can have his cake and eat it too, then either women need to cut his calories, or get equal portions.

IMG_7899Equality ladies – it starts in our minds. It begins in our hearts and actions. The next time you see another woman in a dilemma – take stock of your sensibilities – be a solution – help one another rise to the occasion. Lift one another up. And, be the Christlike example of love and empowerment regardless of your opinion regarding a matter. Be a cure. Be a resolve. Be more than a joke and a chuckle.

That’s what I’m asking Carthagian ladies this week . . . think about it.

Remember to be kind to one another. Hold your head high. Support local small businesses. Share love and thanksgiving. Hug your family and friends. Give peace a chance.

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